When I got out of rehab in December 2016, I had to learn how to exist sober.
Most people think addiction means you're wasted 24/7.
In actuality, when you get good at it, people can’t tell.
You work, live with a partner, take your kids to school.
You might even exercise.
After rehab, I needed to make myself whole again; maybe for the first time.
So I devoured personal development books and podcasts.
But after a few months though, I could see the pattern.
It was all mostly a variation of the same core message.
Useful, but highly repetitive.
What I've learned since is that content creators, authors, and psychologists mean well.
But we often miss the mark.
THE POSITIVE THINKING TRAP
Here's what the self-improvement industry doesn't tell you.
Positive affirmations are built for people who already like themselves.
If you're a dyslexic who spent years being overlooked or convinced you weren't quite enough…
Your inner critic has receipts going back to the 3rd grade and speaks to you through a megaphone.
The research confirms what your gut is already telling you.
When you have a baseline of self-acceptance, an affirmation confirms what already exists.
But when your concept of self is shaky, telling yourself “I am confident” or “I am enough” doesn't stick.
Your brain firing back with “yeah, right, I don’t believe you”.
And now you feel worse than before you started.
Because on top of everything else, you just caught yourself lying.
So the fix isn't to think harder or more positively.
It's to say something your brain will let through the door.
THE COST OF INACTION
Positive thinking without action is tapping your feet to the programmed music playing in a waiting room.
The waiting room is ideal because someone else has to call your name.
This looks like:
a. The raise, promotion or new job opportunity you never asked for because the visibility felt like too much of a risk.
b. The volunteering or business idea refined in your head for two years that nobody has ever heard.
c. The conversation you rehearsed and postponed until the moment passed entirely.
As much as thinking feels like productivity, it’s just plotting and planning disguised as action.
STUCK
There’s the slow grind of the thing you haven't done yet.
The spinning wheel of ideas still living rent-free in your head.
The energy of mental rehearsals and preparation you generate but never set in motion.
For dyslexics, there are 3 things keeping you stuck:
Delay:
Starting can be the hardest part of any task or project for dyslexics. You tell yourself you're waiting until the conditions are ‘just right’. But your definition of ‘just right’ keeps moving, and the task stays exactly where you left it.Avoidance:
After enough public failures, not starting feels like the safest move. You tell yourself, “If I don’t try, I can’t fail or be exposed”. Unfortunately, you can't avoid your way to somewhere better.Perfectionism:
This one's the sneakiest because it feels like high standards. You tell yourself you're protecting the quality of your work. But what you're really protecting yourself from is the moment someone else sees it and judges it.
ACTION ENDS SUFFERING
Back in those first months after rehab, I consumed everything that promised a better version of me.
What I needed wasn't more content - I needed to move.
So after months of reading about how to start a blog and still feeling unqualified, I just started it.
It was about how to consult with enterprise level clients for Business Development Executives.
That blog taught me social media, content creation, online writing, and marketing, so when Powered by Dyslexia came to me, I wasn't starting from zero.
The doing had already built the foundation.
The remedy for reaching goals and aspirations isn't shinier affirmations.
It's a statement your brain will actually accept, followed by the smallest action you can take now.
:::
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If the thought is “I'm not ready, try: I know enough to take one step”.
Then take that step.
DO POSITIVE
Positive thinking doesn't end the suffering.
Positive doing does.
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