Have you ever apologized for existing?

Like you needed to be remorseful for simply taking up space…

It sounds goofy, right?

But it happens more than you think.

In any conversation whether professional or personal, there are tells we give off without even knowing it.

One of them is a 5-letter word that directly speaks to your mindset, level of self-trust and confidence.

Saying it too much can negatively affect your career.

And strain your relationships.

That word is Sorry…

THE SORRY REFLEX

Chances are, you already know the tells, they’re dead giveaways:

• "It was nothing" after nailing a project
  

• "Sorry to bug you..." before asking a legitimate question
  

• "Sorry for rambling" after giving a thorough, necessary explanation
  

• "Sorry, this might sound dumb, but..." before contributing in a meeting

As a Sorrier (one who says sorry a lot), whenever you’re processing out loud, you apologize for your method.

If you need a moment to think, you apologize for the pause.

When you set a boundary, you apologize for having one.

While young and figuring out how to navigate the world, even being corrected landed strangely.

With dyslexia (known or unknown), one red mark felt like many.

One "that's not quite right" from an authority became "I'm not quite right." 

That reflex started early and it stuck.

WHEN SORRY BACKFIRES 

At first glance, over-apologizing might seem harmless.

After all, you're being polite, right?

Showing consideration or being respectful of other people's time and space.

And sure, authentic apologies are something we should all practice.

But there's a catch….

You need to know when and where they're actually warranted….

Because if you're not paying close attention, over-apologizing will backfire and create other complications.

Sorrier: Professional Consequences 

Your authority takes a hit.
▻ When you constantly apologize in professional settings, others start questioning your competence.

▻ Every "sorry to bother you" before a legitimate question, every "this might be dumb, but..." before contributing an idea trains people to see you as less capable than you actually are.

You get talked over.
▻ Research shows that being interrupted or spoken over is a common when you come across as unsure.

▻ When you apologize before you speak, you're essentially giving permission for others to cut you off.

▻ You've already told them your contribution might not be worth hearing.

Your wins get downplayed.
▻ When you follow up a solid achievement with "it was nothing" or apologize for the process that got you there, people believe you.

▻ They'll remember the apology more than the accomplishment. And when promotion time comes around, guess what gets recalled?

Sorrier: Personal Consequences

Your brain starts believing the story.
▻ Every time you apologize for existing in a space, you reinforce the idea that you shouldn't be there.

▻ Do this enough times and it stops being a verbal habit - it becomes how you actually see yourself.

Your relationships get lopsided.
▻ Expressing gratitude instead of apologizing creates healthier dynamics.

▻ But when you're always the one apologizing, you train the people around you to expect you to yield, to accommodate, to shrink.

You waste mental energy you can't afford to lose.
▻ Apologizing burns through the working memory you need to think clearly and show up sharp.

▻ Instead of processing what you actually want to say, you're managing an endless loop of "should I apologize for this?"

SORRY NOT SORRY

When you spend years hyper-aware of how others perceive you, you get pretty good at reading the room. 

But you also start treating everyone else's time, space and comfort as more valuable than your own.

You put them on a pedestal while you remain grounded.

It's okay to stop apologizing for taking up space.

You don't need permission to exist in this universe; there’s room.

Know someone who’d appreciate this? Share it with them.
More Powered to the People!